Good and Evil

To say that God and the devil are opposites would be misunderstanding. Often times when we compare good and evil, we compare them as ying and yang or as night and day. However, to compare God to devil in that sense would be misleading. Rather, I would say that the devil is more like a mirror image, or a shadow of God more than he is an opposite. It is because of this, that so many people mistake evil for good which is why the devil is so powerful.

Many mistake lust for love or idolatry for love. Many think they are serving God when they are in fact serving themselves. Many think they are building up God’s kingdom when they are in fact building themselves up. Many think they are being sanctified when in fact they are growing more and more prideful of the fact that they are becoming more godly. Many who originally desire to please God soon desire God to please them. And many who desire to be glorified by God, soon desire God to glorify them.

Understanding this, one can see how the devil was greatest angel was originally. This was because he was so close to God, that he thought he could be him. And that was where he made his mistake. Just because you’re like God does not mean you are God. His love of good must have been so strong that it must have been almost irresistible, to the point he sought for it outside of God. However one can never separate good from God, just as a man can not separate good sex from a loving committed relationship. Evil must therefore, be good without God.

Honesty

Since this past retreat I can’t stop thinking about this one idea. Honesty. One practical way in learning to be honest, is to confess your sins to God and also to each other. And that is quite difficult for me because its quite embarrassing and pathetic when faced with some of your sinful habits such as lust, and whatever vices you may have. And the reason why I have always felt ashamed of these things is that somehow I have always felt pressured to be perfect. I think this has a lot to do with being Asian, and the emphasis of being an overachiever. This also has a lot to do with the legalistic church background that I come from. But anyways, I really believe that seeking God begins with honesty. That is really a large part of what Jesus preached about. He told us to be honest about our sinful nature, which is shown through how impossible it was to live up to God’s law in his sermon on the mount, and his contempt for the Pharisee’s hypocrisy. As for me, learning to be honest with oneself begins with first being honest with other people. I think this helps us in one sense, to learn to die to ourselves, because quite often as I said before, honesty doesn’t bring us glory, but humility. And secondly, I think honesty helps us to shed off many of personas we have, in the process of finding our true self. I think when we can learn to overcome the desire to be pleasing before others, and come to grips with our own imperfections, God is only right around the corner. I think honesty is the first step towards learning to become pure in heart, which is what God ultimately desires.

Hey I don't know if anyone reads this site anymore. But o well. Anyways, I've always felt guilty and self conscious about my faith, because I can honestly say that I don't know God personally. I can say I do know about him. And I think when I give christians that answer, they somehow judge me as though I'm not a christian because I don't know him personally, and I really don't know if he lives in my heart. But quite honestly, I wonder if their definition of what it means to be a christian is wrong. I think a christian should be defined as one decides to be a disciple of christ. So I can confidently say that I am his disciple and he is my master. I look at the disciples, and even though they followed Jesus, they didn't really know him. So anyways, in conclusion I wonder, if people who are way less committed christians than I am, claim to know Jesus personally, I often wonder if their Jesus is a figment of their imagination. And secondly, I wonder what really defines a christian. 

Well not sure who reads xanga anymore. But if you do, just wondering if you were interested in checking out a Sunday school class that will be held at the church I go to. The flyer is posted below.

On another note, I was just thinking about the possibility of the bible and God not being real. I just wanted to say, that the scariest things in this world I can think of, is 1) God not existing and 2) God existing.

I think its kind of sad that either way, life is pretty scary when you're not sure of things. The reason I think God is scary, is because I realize how I sin quite often and use his name in vain. The other thing I find completely absurd is that I think I can sometimes impress God. For those reasons, I find God quite scary.